Altercations
by Aukum
Summary: A series of unconnected stories about the problems Devil Sword and Angel Ios encounter after borrowing human bodies. Now up: Unexpected Allies
1. Holier Than Thou

Sword smirked at the punks that dared to get in the way of a Devil. He wasn't the same as that weakling Souma and he was going to make sure that they would remembered that for the rest of their lives. It was insulting enough that he, one of the mightiest Devils in Hell, was forced by a _human_ and that damned Angel to attend school without being constantly reminded of how pathetic his human host was.  
  
The sooner he got his demonic form back, the better.  
  
"Come!" Sword bared his fangs in a twisted grin. "I'll take all you brats on!"  
  
As soon as those words left his mouth, a strong hand halted Sword's headlong charge with surprising force by grabbing hold of the Devil's raised fist. The devil-turned-human twisted in his captor's grip to snarl angrily.  
  
"IOS! What the hell are you doing? Don't interfere with my fight!"  
  
The Angel just shook his head with a look of disapproval on his face that said more than anything that could have come out of his mouth. It was obvious what the Angel was thinking, Sword had heard variations of the same speech over and over since they fell to Earth. Why can't you think about consequences? You can't use demonic power against humans. No exceptions. I, of all people, would know what you're like the best so there will be no indulgence in bloodlust while I am around.   
  
But before Ios could say those same old words, the boys Sword had been intent on beating into an unrecognizably bloody pulp recognized them.   
  
"It's Kanna! Shit, he's gonna kill us! Run!"   
  
"W...wait! I'm not..." Ios stammered.  
  
"You're lucky your brother showed up, Souma!"  
  
"There's no way I'm related to that bastard!" Sword growled and tried to give chase, only to be halted once more by Ios. "And you! I'm sick of always having to deal with your Holier-Than-Thou attitude!"  
  
Sword freed his wrist from Ios' slack grip and made it a point to rub his wrist as if grave bodily harm had befallen Souma's body. His eyes narrowed when he heard something that sounded suspiciously like laughter coming from the Angel.  
  
"I apologize for any injuries, Sword." Ios said smoothly. "But I'm afraid I can't do anything about my 'holier-than-thou' attitude since I am, in fact, holier than you."  
  
Sword raised his fist and dropped all pretence of injury. "You wanna fight, you damned Angel?"  
  
"Not at the moment, thank you." Ios smiled. "But Angels are holier than Devils."  
  
"I know that you--." Sword paused for a second before deflating. "Oh, right." 


	2. Bless You

A/N: There are other DD fans! *happy!* And here I thought I was the only one left. :D I hope you'll all come back and read the other large DD epic fic I have in the works.

--

Sword sneezed explosively and miserably rubbed his arms in a feeble attempt to warm up. In hindsight, hunting for a piece of Satan's soul in the snow covered mountains in nothing but his usual garb of jeans, sneakers, t-shirt and a thin jacket was one of the most monumentally poor decisions he had made in a long time. It was in his personal "top-ten errors that he'd love to take back" list, right up there next to "getting speared on Ios' sword, falling to Earth and having to use Souma's body to avoid death".   
  
Devils just didn't catch colds, their bodies had more than enough resistance to mundane illnesses, so Sword was not prepared for the inconvenience of a human's inferior immune system.  
  
Nanami commented offhandedly with a smile, "I guess idiots can catch colds."  
  
"It's your fault I got sick." Sword glowered at her.   
  
"You were warned to dress warm," She said.  
  
"How should I know that it'd be that cold?!" He snapped.  
  
"Isn't that common sense?" Nanami shot back.  
  
Sword opened his mouth to deliver a scalding reply but had his message interrupted. Nanami shook her head in a mixture of exasperation and amusement as Sword was suddenly seized by a sneezing fit.   
  
Ios calmly walked over and offered the Devil a tissue, which was accepted wordlessly, and said "Bless you."  
  
The tissue dropped from Sword's hand as he clutched at his chest and grimaced in pain. Ios stared at Sword's doubled over body for a second before smiling sheepishly and hastily retreating to a safe distance.  
  
Sword glared death at Ios and gasped, "You knew that was going to happen."   
  
"My apologies," Ios offered with poorly concealed smile. "I forgot."  
  
"Forgot what?" Nanami blinked at the two of them quizically.  
  
"That an Angel should never say 'bless you' to a Devil," Ios said brightly as Sword muttered something inaudible under his breath stomped away. 


	3. Unexpected Allies

"You can't skip class again!" Nanami shouted after a rapidly retreating back. "Sword!"  
  
It seemed like this morning was going to be the same as every other one since her neighbours had been replaced by two supernatural battle junkies. She had been waiting by the gate to walk with them to school, and probably help Ios to persuade Sword to attend school against his will, when the aforementioned devil suddenly decided that school was beneath him and that he was better off doing other things with his time. He had managed to get half a block away from their usual route when Nanami noticed him and demanded an explanation.   
  
Not that she really expected to get one that was at all satisfactory, but it was still comforting to see how the devil cringed at the anger in her voice.  
  
"What are you going to do about Souma's test today? You promised to take it!"  
  
"Shut up!" Sword turned to face her with a snarl. "Why should I take that stupid history test when the answers are all wrong?"  
  
Nanami stared at him. "You can't just..."She waved her hands helplessly. "...make up answers and expect the teacher to accept them! Saying 'the great Devil Sword says it's right, so it's right' won't change the fact that they're the wrong answers!"

He snorted and cast a hate-filled gaze in the direction of the school. "I _am_ right, so what's the problem with with pointing it out? Besides, I've got better things to worry about than some stupid test."

Having made his point, Sword turned to distance himself from the route to school. Nanami could feel the situation spiralling out of her control. It was up to her to make sure that Souma's grades wouldn't suffer because of a certain devil that was so blasé about human responsibilities but it wasn't easy to stop him on her own. So with no other alternative, she turned to the only person that she knew would back her up and, more importantly, stand up to Sword.  
  
"Ios, say something!" She grabbed the blonde's arm and glared at Sword's back. "You've got to stop him!"  
  
"Actually, I agree with him" was the calm reply from Ios, but spoken in a rougher voice than she was used to hearing from the angel. "We're better off preparing for an attack from Hell than taking a test that Sword will certainly fail."  
  
"What are you s--..." Nanami stared at the spiked blonde hair and narrowed red eyes in horrified recognition. "Kanna! When did you... no, more importantly, what did you do to Ios?!"  
  
The human smirked and left her side to join Sword. "He's fine, but we're not going to keep wasting time at school."  
  
Sword stared at Kanna in blank amazement before comprehension dawned and a toothy grin spread across the devil's face. "Hey... you're that human! This is great! Let's go before Ios wakes up and spoils everything."  
  
"Hey! Stop!" Nanami shouted after them helplessly, knowing that any chance of getting Sword to obey had vanished with the appearance of Souma's rebellious twin.


End file.
